Do we really need help breathing?

So I took a breathing class today. I'm not sure I needed to learn how to breathe. It seems a pretty natural thing, just in and out. In. Out. Not too difficult to comprehend. Except that I nearly pass out every time. Apparently, the concept is just too difficult for me to grasp.

I have done a few yoga classes in my wild and crazy search to discover new things. You walk into class, a little self conscious about your lack of clothing and the VERY LARGE mirror in front of you and then you start with a breathing exercise. Expand your chest, feeelll the breath reach your toes.... About this time, I start seeing spots. Again, it's deep breathing. Something you're born knowing how to do. Maybe I just get self conscious and forget how to do it when you really have to think instead of just... well, doing.

It's like when you're in the doctor's office on the bed/bench/medieval torture thingy-mabob. The doctor comes in, leans really close to check your eyes with the light and then uses the coldest stethoscope they can find. Breath in deeply... tick tock tick tock... and here come the spots. My heart always speeds up too, I'm pretty sure every doctor I've seen thinks I have a heart defect until I argue that I don't. On a random side note, I've always wondered where the bed/bench/medieval torture thingy-mabobs end up. Is there a special graveyard for them? Or do they end up in third world countries painted strange bright colors like buses?

Tangent - back to breathing. It's always very relaxing once I get a grip on my consciousness. And then, out of nowhere, comes the most random thought of the day. I'm totally relaxed, so of course I have to start thinking about the nasty old pasta salad I have to clean out of the fridge. Or someone I haven't talked to in weeks, but just HAVE to call in that moment of complete relaxation. Makes total sense, right?

Maybe the class shouldn't be so much on breathing, but more on controlling vagrant, out of control and irrelevant thoughts. Where's that class when you need it? I could teach Distraction 101: The Art of Being Sidetracked and Taking People Down With You.